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I’ve decided that people in general are quite selfish, whether they mean to be or not doesn’t matter. No matter what their reasoning is for being the way they are, they all hurt people. People have all been hurt and have hurt other people. Sometimes it is purposeful: those that take pleasure in seeing others in as much pain as they are in. Most of the time, though, it is unintentional. Everyone is trying to pursue what makes them happy, and that looks different to everyone. Some people feel like they will be happy if they have more money; some people seek fame; some people seek love; some people seek a family. Whatever it is that people are seeking, they will do whatever it takes to have it, and sometimes that means hurting others in order to get it. Since all people are this way in some form or fashion, more people get hurt, which causes them to hurt others in turn. This never-ending cycle is something I would prefer to avoid, but it’s impossible. I could avoid all people and live like a hermit, in my own little hovel in the woods, but I will not be successful in life if I live that way. I could only choose to be around certain people and hope that they never hurt me, but of course that would be a fallacy. I could just choose to trust everyone and continue to get hurt, but if I get hurt by one, I still have 10 others to fall back on. I think in a way even that would be unwise. I choose to simply try to understand people. If I understand people, their motivations, what drives them to do the things they feel they need to do, and keep my focus on others and help them in whatever they think they need in that moment, then perhaps some day I will feel like my life wasn’t for nothing. I’ve been wondering if I would be able to attain this being single. My entire life, the only thing I’ve wanted is to be married and have a family, and although that still appeals to me, I know that once I attain that, I still will not be happy. In fact, I’m convinced that no one is ever truly happy. There’s no goal that is attained that makes you happy. Most things cause more stress, more problems along with it. There’s no magic bean, there’s no magic person, there’s no magic place. Everything has its’ ups and downs. Everything has things that are bad and good. We should learn that from those who have obtained fame and even fortune. A whole slew of problems coincides with those things. Those who pursue love to make them happy discover that the other person comes with their own baggage that they have to deal with as well, and since very few know the value of commitment, it often fails and then they either have to make new goals or they get depressed and think they’ve done nothing in their life. If I live life with minimal expectations of people, or at least realistic expectations of people and guard myself as best I can from such people, but still show them that I will trust and open myself up, then perhaps I will get what I want in life. If I live my life for people and try to help them with their needs and hopes and desires, then perhaps, at the least, I can help them be happier. Honestly, helping others makes me happiest; accepting others for who they are, no matter who they are. As a Christian, I know that I am supposed to live my life for other people, and love people and take care of them. As an ESFJ, I want to “mother” everyone. I like taking care of the emotional needs of those I care about and help them be more productive in their own lives. For me, that’s what will make me happy most of the time, but of course true happiness can’t be attained. If I allow people to be comfortably selfish in my presence, and accept them for what they are, who they are, then perhaps they will let me in enough to help them with their goals and their dreams. I have goals and dreams too, of course, but those are only in place because of what they can help me do for other people. I will get myself to a point where not much affects me in a real way, and people around me can go on being what they are, and all will be okay in my world, at least… whether I am happy or not.

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